


A Lady's Mask

by NephthysMoon



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-06
Updated: 2012-10-06
Packaged: 2017-11-15 17:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/529969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NephthysMoon/pseuds/NephthysMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mai has worn the mask of a perfect lady for so long, done her duty for so long, that she isn't sure that she even knows how to truly feel anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lady's Mask

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Loopy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loopy/gifts).



From birth, this is what she had been raised for; she stood beside the Firelord, helping him prepare for his coronation.

“I’d like to promise I won’t break up with you again, Mai,” he said softly, referring to the conversation they’d finished a few moments before. Her eyes narrowed dangerously. “You know I can’t do that. I have an entire nation to lead now. This is what I was trying to spare you from, when I left, but you never let me explain in that cell.” He heaved a sigh.

“Zuko, what are you trying to say?” she asked, feeling as tired and weary as he looked. A soft tap interrupted, and the Waterbender opened the door.

“Zuko, I came by to see if you needed any help,” she said, stepping inside and closing the door. “You may need a healing session before the coronation.”

“It’s political,” he said softly. She nodded. She understood politics.

“Mai,” the Waterbender said.

“I’m sorry,” Mai replied. “I don’t believe we’ve been introduced. Zuko seems to have forgotten his manners. Living among savages for so long can do that to even the future Firelord, it seems.” She made sure to inject just enough contempt into her voice as she said it so that the Waterbender would know she was being insulted, but not enough to truly anger Zuko; after all, the girl hadn’t waited for his permission to enter his quarters.

He raised his good eyebrow at her in question and then spoke without reservation. “Mai, this is Master Katara, daughter of Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe,” he said formally. “Katara, this is the Lady Mai, daughter of Chancellor Fa, former Governor of New Ozai and one of the leaders of Firelord Ozai’s Council.”

Katara inclined her head slightly, and Mai was surprised that she’d realized the protocol of Fire Nation Court; a Bending Master held higher station than the non-Bending daughter of a Chancellor; that the Waterbending peasant already _knew_ that was – unsettling. Mai dropped into the shallowest curtsey that protocol would allow.

“I’ll leave you to your healing then, Master Katara,” she said. “Firelord, if I may have a few words with you at some point?” she asked. “It seems we have some ‘politics’ to discuss.” She looked at him inquiringly.

“Of course, Mai.” He dismissed her. She held her head high as she left the room, ignoring their whispers, the way her mother had taught her, the way a lady should.

When he came to her the next day, before the official announcements were to be made, she already knew what he would say. She was barely listening. There were political alliances to think of. He could not marry where he would like. None of them could. She had made a great sacrifice for her country, and he would never forget that. He hated to ask her to make another, and if she chose not to, he would, naturally, understand. She nodded politely, barely making the pretence of paying the slightest attention until he said the words that drew her notice.

“I know that I’ve compromised you, Mai,” he said, agony clear in his tones. “Honour demands that I uphold the promise that my body has made and damn the political ramifications.”

She did look up then. His eyes met hers, and she saw in them that he was prepared to do it, because he had taken her, because she had allowed him free use of her when he had been the Prince. She wondered if the Waterbender had been as free with her own body when he had been the traitor. Her face set softly into its usual mask.

“I should like to think over your proposal, my Lord,” she said, her voice betraying no emotion. “I am honoured to be considered for the position of your consort, but the duty of peace must be weighed by us all.”

He stared at her then, as though he was unsure that he had heard her correctly, and then he nodded, leaving the room immediately afterward. She sank to the sofa, afraid her legs would no longer support her.

The next day she sat in the meeting with the other ‘heroes’ of the war, listening as the Wise Ones spoke of the same things Zuko had done the day before, urging those that were young to consider the future. Iroh held the Avatar back as the others were dismissed, and Zuko looked at her but she shook her head, walking towards the garden instead.

“I had hoped you would come to Kyoshi with me,” a soft voice was saying as she walked toward the entrance, and she hesitated before entering.

“Suki, I love you, you know that I do,” a deeper voice answered, “but I have a duty to my father and to my Tribe. I can’t leave them. Now that the war is over, I’m needed at home more than ever. Now is when they’ll need to see that there is a strong, capable leader ready to take over when he’s gone.”

“I understand,” she said, and even Mai could hear the tears the other girl was trying to hold back. “But I have my own duties, Sokka. I have been the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors for two years. It is not something I can simply walk away from, not even for you. It is part of who I am, part of my very identity. As much as I love you, I cannot give that up to simply become the wife of the future Chief of the Southern Water Tribe.”

“So, you’re saying no,” he said, anger lacing his tone.

“I’m saying that I love you,” she said, “but that I can’t leave my duties for love any more than you can leave yours.”

He sighed and then there was silence. Mai supposed they were saying a very personal and passionate goodbye in the garden, one she didn’t want to interrupt. She turned and walked away. Ty Lee caught her as she ascended a small stairway towards the palace.

“I guess I should tell you first,” she said, looking down at her feet.

“Tell me what?” Mai asked, wondering what had the normally effervescent girl so down.

“You know that my family has – _that kind_ – of heritage?” she asked, dropping her voice significantly. Mai nodded. While it had always been a well-kept secret, most people had suspected, though only Mai knew for certain. “General Iroh told the Avatar today, and he made me an offer. We’ll be married at the Fire Festival in three weeks.”

“Are congratulations in order?” she asked, truly concerned. Ty Lee shrugged. “Then how about condolences?”

“That’ll do.” Ty Lee smiled wanly. “My aura is so muddy and dingy I can’t tell where it stops and yours begins.”

Mai allowed herself a small smile.

Two nights later, there was a knock on her door as she was preparing for bed. She opened it, expecting an impatient Zuko, demanding her answer. Instead, she saw a forlorn Watertribesman, looking confused, as if he wasn’t quite sure how he’d ended up there.

“Can I come in?” he asked, looking down at his feet.

She opened the door wider without a word.

“I know you haven’t given Zuko an answer,” he said. “And you should know that I’m already expecting you to say no. Suki did and so did Toph. But Aang’s going to marry Ty Lee and that just leaves my sister or a total stranger. You saved my life as much as you saved Zuko’s that day in the Boiling Rock and I haven’t forgotten about it. You saved me, my dad, and Suki. You could have died. If there had been any way to come back for you, I would have found it. So, if you decide against Zuko, you could marry me. I know I’m not the greatest catch – everyone else keeps turning me down, so that’s my first clue. I’m not a Bender, I can’t do a whole lot except meat and sarcasm, and I _am_ stuck living in the ice and snow forever. But – well, that’s pretty much it.” He turned and shuffled out of the room, softly closing the door behind him.

Mai knew her mouth was hanging inelegantly open. She knew that if her mother saw her, she would be scolded beyond all bearing. As far as marriage proposals went, it was by far the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. But at the same time, he’d at least acknowledged something that Zuko had not – doubt about her answer. Zuko had taken for granted that she would agree to marry him, though she’d seen in his eyes that he had wanted her to refuse, which was why she had not replied.

She closed her mouth and sighed. While she did not want to be any man’s last choice for a bride, and she did not relish the idea of living in a barren wasteland of ice, there was something that had been plaguing her since she’d returned to the Fire Nation. It wasn’t until Sokka had walked away that she was finally able to pin it down, though. She may not have a choice about having a husband who loved another woman, but at least now she had a choice about how much she cared about it. Sokka, that meat-loving fool, had just given her that choice. She pulled a cord to summon a servant, who led her to his chamber.

She knocked hesitantly on his door. He opened it, shirtless, with his hair released from its usual tuft at the back of his head, and she cocked her head sideways for a moment, merely studying his angular jawline, the shape of his eyes, framed as they were by his dark locks.

“Lady Mai?” he prompted.

“I apologize,” she said automatically in her usual monotone. “I was woolgathering.” He nodded, though the expression, being of the Fire Nation, was probably foreign to him. “I accept your proposal. I shall inform Firelord Zuko of our engagement in the morning. If it is acceptable to you, my lord, I would prefer a simple ceremony in the tradition of your people, held in the South Pole, whenever you wish to hold it.”

“Er – you don’t need to call me that,” he said awkward, leaving on his door. “It’s just Sokka. And why a South Pole wedding? I thought the point was to have Fire Nation weddings to show everyone how peaceful it is here?”

“I believe for those not of Fire Nation heritage that may be the case,” she explained, “but if I am to be the wife of the future Chief of their people, I believe that it might make them more comfortable if we were to marry in their tradition and not mine.”

Sokka scratched his chin for a moment and then nodded. “You make a really good point, Mai. You’re going to make a great Cheiftain’s wife,” he said with a smile.

“I was raised to be in politics, my lord,” she said, lowering her voice. “My parents anticipated that I would be consort to the Firelord. I am well-versed in any political situation and can perform ambassadorial duties as well.”

“Well, I’m not the Firelord, and I won’t be Chief for a long time,” he said. “So, for at least a few years, we get to have fun, help build a city, and then travel a bit to visit people. Sign a few treaties maybe. I’ll take you to the North Pole, for sure…” he trailed off, as though remembering something painful. “You’d like it there. It’s an ice palace and the home of the mortal forms of the ocean and the moon.” For a moment, she wondered what made him look like that, but she banished the curiosity. Political marriages didn’t care. Her parents – Zuko’s parents – Ty Lee’s parents – proved that.

“I shall retire to my chambers now, my lord, unless you would care to escort me,” she offered. She paused significantly, wondering if she would have to instruct him in court manners.

“Good night then,” he said, waving and closing the door. She sighed. This engagement would be excruciating and the marriage even worse.

She informed Zuko of her decision in the morning and pretended not to see the relief in his eyes. She kept her mask of indifference when his own engagement was announced a mere two days after her own – to her future sister-in-law, no less. There was no surprise in it, after all. She wore the mask through the six months she was required to suffer through her own engagement and his, as one of the future Consort’s Ladies-in-Waiting. She wore her mask through Zuko’s wedding, and was proud when it didn’t slip, not once, even as he gave himself, body, heart, and soul to the Waterbender, with her fiancé as his attendant and a smile on his face.

_Politics_ , she thought, with an inward seethe. But her face showed nothing.

After the wedding, she and Sokka boarded a Fire Nation ship and set a course for the South Pole with his father, who thanked her politely for her part in his escape from the Boiling Rock. She nodded, trying to brush away his thanks, but he enveloped her in a warm hug that was nothing like the bouncy, careless embraces of Ty Lee’s. It was the hug of a father.

He smelled of meat and fur and smoke and warmth and something she couldn’t name – probably all the things her future husband smelled of, if she thought about, but she had never allowed him close enough to know. But more than the smell, and the feel of the large arms wrapped affectionately, but not inappropriately, around her much smaller frame, there was a feeling of safety in the brief embrace, as though this man would protect her with his whalebone weapons until the last breath. It was nothing she’d ever experienced before; Fire Nation men were not affectionate with their children, in general, and hers certainly hadn’t been, but this man stood here and accepted her into his family as though her marriage to his son was something he welcomed. As though he was happy, and proud, to accept her as his daughter – just as pleased to have her in his family as the daughter he’d just given to the Firelord.

The mask slipped, just a little, around the mouth, as Mai found that she almost liked that idea – the idea of belonging to the big, burly man’s family, of being his daughter. She stepped back and hurriedly put her mask back on and excused herself.

It happened again when she was introduced to Kanna.

“When they told me he was marrying a Lady of the Fire Nation, I didn’t expect them to send me such a beauty,” she said, a twinkle in her eyes. Warm, motherly arms wrapped around her and held her tightly. Again, she experienced that feeling of belonging; again her mask slipped. “You have a regal bearing, the features of a Princess, and the hips of a good breeder. You’ll make a fine Chieftain’s wife. Sokka couldn’t have done better.”

She felt herself blush.

The ceremony was held two days later, and her mask was back in place. It carried her through the awkwardness of the wedding night, and the conversation that followed, when her husband turned over afterwards and looked at her accusingly.

“You weren’t a virgin.”

“Neither were you,” she replied, bored and tired. In truth he had been a satisfying partner, better than Zuko – less awkward and more attentive, but she hadn’t wanted to let him know for some perverse reason.

“That’s to be expected in man!” he whispered angrily.

“Isn’t that a little sexist?” she asked, laying naked on her back and staring at the domed ceiling of their snug igloo. She’d expected it to be cold, but it wasn’t, and she didn’t know why.

“You could have at least warned me,” he huffed, mimicking her pose. She looked at him through the corner of her eye, noting the way the candlelight flickered on his skin, so much darker than hers, giving it a deep, rich glow.

“You never asked,” she reminded him, sighing. “And you and Zuko were so close, I thought he might have mentioned it,” she answered honestly. “You knew we’d been a couple while he lived at the palace – what did you think we’d been doing all that time?”

“It was Zuko!?” he practically shouted.

“Lower your voice,” she ordered, sitting up, “unless you want to dishonour your wife, your sister and your brother-in-law.” She hadn’t realized that the fur coverings had fallen off until she saw where her husband’s eyes had drifted. She laughed and then stopped when his eyes shot up to her face.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you laugh,” he said softly. There was a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “Your whole face changes when you laugh.” He sat up and put his hand on her jaw, rubbing his thumb along her cheek. His other arm reached around her waist and pulled her towards him until she was sitting sideways in his lap, but he didn’t move; he just kept staring at her, as though he was seeing her for the first time, and Mai realized that he probably was – she wasn’t wearing her mask.

“I know you love Zuko,” he said softly, touching his forehead to hers. “And I know you know enough about our group to know that I love Suki. I’m not saying that love’s out of the question, but I’m not asking for it or looking for it.”

“Neither am I,” she admitted. “But you need heirs, and I understand that. And you need a partner to help with the politics and to make you look more – polished – to the leaders of the other nations, and this I can do. It might not be what we wanted, but it will be a life and it will be better if we don’t hate each other during it, yes?”

“Yes,” he said.

He settled her against his chest as they lay down to get some sleep. She was jostled just as she got comfortable by him sitting upright and saying, rather loudly. “You mean to say, I had sex, by proxy, with ZUKO!?”

She laughed and pulled him back down.

Over the next two years, she learned to let the mask slip from time to time. She couldn’t help, for example, letting all that she was feeling show when she was bearing his heir. Nor could she help but smile, probably the first true smile any of the others had ever seen on her face, as he looked down at the tiny scrap of humanity in her arms.

“You did it,” he’d said proudly, awe in his voice. They named their son Arnook, for the chief of the Northern Tribe who’d passed away the year before, and he was soon joined by a daughter. With a little reservation, Mai had agreed to naming the girl Yue.

She and her husband had shared stories of their lives before the war, and during it, with each other, and she knew the tale of the Moon Spirit.

Only with her children was she free, unreserved, determined not to raise them the way she’d been raised, but eventually her husband was included in the circle of her affection. Love was out of the question, and they’d always known that, but passion was not, and they’d built a life together over the years in the South Pole. She could even meet her sister-in-law without wanting to throw senbon at the other woman now.

Her children grew to young men and women, married, and she noticed the gray slipping into her husband’s hair with as little concern as she noted the silver in her own. Hakoda had passed many years before, and if she’d ever had a perfect political mask, she’d long ago lost it. She was no longer Lady Mai, daughter of Chancellor Fa of the Fire Nation, the political wife of Chief Sokka. She was simply Mai, wife of Sokka, mother of Arnook and Yue, bundled in blue wool and white furs, trundling through the snow of the South Pole as she went about her chores with the women of the Tribe. It was true that her skin was paler and her eyes were not the vibrant blue of the other women, but she looked, on first glance, to be one of them.

Her smile was just as quick, her laughter as ready, and the wrinkles and lines had fallen into the same places – not the careworn, brittle places of a politician’s wife, but the laughing lines of a woman who has had a happy life, even if it wasn’t the life she had wanted.

She brushed a white lock of hair from her eyes and smiled at one of the young girls who tugged her sleeve.

“Mai, come quick!” she said. “Chief Sokka’s sick!”

Mai rolled her eyes. She’d told him he’d had too many sea prunes for breakfast, but he hadn’t listened. The other women chuckled at her and she followed the rushing child towards the healing huts. A glance at the Waterbender’s face as she knelt over the prone form of her husband told Mai that this wasn’t a simple case of indigestion.

“I’m sorry,” the woman said, not looking up from her healing. “The Chief has suffered some sort of attack. We’re doing all we can, but I would suggest that you send a hawk to the Fire Nation for Arnook. The Tribe needs to know that he is ready to take his father’s place.”

Mai nodded, her mask slipping into place as effortlessly as though she’d been wearing it for decades. She went directly to the aviary and asked in a toneless voice for the fastest hawk, writing a clipped letter to her son for his immediate return. She put as little detail into her letter as possible, hoping that by the time her son arrived, Sokka would be recovered.

He died before dawn, as Mai was sponging his face with a damp cloth. His blue eyes were looking out the open window, staring out at the moon. For a brief half-moment, Mai was certain she’d seen the form of a beautiful young girl dancing in the beams of moonlight, but she brushed it off as a hallucination brought on by a lack of sleep. When she looked back at her husband, Sokka’s eyes were closed, and he was smiling.

The funeral was thankfully brief, carried out as soon as Arnook arrived. Suki, white-haired but still beautiful, arrived for it, as did most of the old ‘gang’, including the Firelord and his wife. Mai kept her mask in place as each offered their sincere condolences. Her children stared at the stranger that was standing in their mother’s place, the mask of the perfect lady of breeding. Her ‘friends’ never noticed the change.

Mai stood alone three days later. The moon had begun to wane and she looked over the water. She knew the children were worried. She hadn’t been ‘herself’ of late – her mask was back in place. It wasn’t that she’d loved her husband; not in the way that the children thought she had. She’d cared for him, naturally. They’d shared life together for decades. They’d had passion, affection and even attraction. It was a good life, and she was sad that he’d left her. She was even, she acknowledged, looking forward to being reborn, so that at least one piece of her soul could find a piece of his, and they could be reunited that way. Until then, she intended to keep her mask. It was her protection, as it had always been.


End file.
